gettin schwifty

where did i go so wrong?

i feel like i try so hard. i try so hard. i try so hard to be there for others. for everyone. for anyone. i really fucking try. i feel like i try my hardest to live for something. anything. i don’t have anything to live for. i don’t live for anything. but at the same time i feel like i’m rejected for who i am. not the aspect of me that’s there for others, but my actual self. the child within me yearning for something.

do you still think about me?

every night, before i go to sleep, when i’m laying in bed staring at the wall in front of me or while i’m on my phone or when i’m on my computer, i think of you. i think of you cuddled up next to me. i think of how you interact with sylvie and jiji. i think about what you’re doing right then or how you’re feeling. every day when i awake i wonder how you slept. i look to my side longing to wake up beside you once more.

do you remember? i finally did?

“one of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things”“so much beauty we need to look after”“sometimes i feel lost,” said the boy. “me too,” said the mole, “but we love you, and love brings you home.”“i think everyone is just trying to get home.” said the mole.“what is the bravest thing you’ve ever said?” asked the boy. “help.” said the horse.“asking for help isn’t giving up.” said the horse.