passiveaggresive.com

Have you ever found yourself in situations like these?

"Every time we got close, he pulled further away. I could SEE it happening. We'd seem to grow closer and closer, which made him feel invaded, so he'd push me away. I'd try to get nearer and he'd back away. It was a vicious cycle. If I complained, he would blame ME, saying it was my 'behavior' that drove him away." "I think he loves me somehow and that makes it harder to cut the cord.

Do you remember the most "life rules " that you learned at home?

Take care of others before yourself. Disregard your own feelings to make your family happy. Don't complain when you are upset. You can't have your own life - your life is with your family. Don't be confrontational to your partner or other family members. Overlook harmful behavior from your partner because he is stressed.

Does it sound familiar?

Along my entire life I heard some variation or other of these "Life Rules." And, sadly, for almost four decades, I believed them to be the way to deal with others! But, they ARE NOT true!!!. YOU are an individual person, and have your own, valid needs. YOU are worthy of respect and love. And, YOU have the ability to shape your life - in ANY WAY you choose! Nora, You saved my marriage!